Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Forgive me, please


...for this post is almost entirely about chicken poop.

If you are in any way offended by chicken poop, you should opt out now and not read any further. You see, I fear I may have been out here on the farm too long. For when I stepped outside today, and saw what Honey, my roaming chicken, had less than delicately left me, I thought immediately that it looked like a work of art:

Seriously, though, tell me this isn't quite artistic (in a rather twisted way), not to mention impressive - just in size alone:

I was certainly impressed because I immediately fell to my knees, pulled out my phone and texted a picture of it to my friend. "Your next post is going to be about poop art, right," she texted back. (I don't think she was all that impressed.) "This post is practically writing itself!" I responded with glee.

George was certainly impressed and immediately lay down and posed with it:

Can't you just imagine my gallery show?:

"Chicken poop with closed-eyed cat":

"Chicken poop with cat, soft-focus":

"Chicken poop with resting cat, black and white":

And finally, "Chicken poop with watchful cat, tinted collage":

I tried to speak with Honey - you know, to find out what she was thinking at the time of her creation, who her inspirations were, etc.:

... but she was extremely busy and couldn't be bothered with my questions:

I guess we'll never know:

Um, you do forgive me for this post, right?:

Here, have some blueberries.
You know I must really like you because these are the only ones I'm getting this year:

What? I haven't told you my oh-so-sad blueberry story yet? Ok, we'll talk about that tomorrow instead of poop.

36 comments:

  1. Danni! I love your poop post! That is quite an impressive sculptured pile o' poo. Miss Honey should be proud. I love that she's the aloof artist.

    The fact that you played with the focus kills me. Fantastic.

    Much love!
    Teri

    (P.S. Without a computer for a few months, it's been the pits not getting to catch up with you more often. :( Need to slow down long enough to buy a new toy. Glad you're doing well!!)

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  2. I think it looks like a Rockhopper Penguin in the first picture. This one. http://www.superstock.co.uk/stock-photos-images/4201-38167

    And I'm so not offended by bird poop. I have my sister's kids tonight and on the way home from picking them up I had four giddy, hysterical kids telling bird poop jokes. CHICKEN bird poop jokes even.

    "Why did the chicken cross the road? To poop on the other side!"

    "Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the mooooovies. But he stepped in chicken poop."

    "Why did the tree fall down? Because the beaver chewed it down. AND THE CHICKEN ATE ITS OWN POOP!!!!"

    Hysterical.

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  3. Lol that is a very funny post and made me smile! They do leave the odd enormous poop! Never work out why hmmmmmmm. What breed of chook is honey? I like her fluffy bottom.

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  4. And it looks like aCHICKEN!! Very cool. Not offended. :)

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  5. Wow! Artistic poop! Very nice, Honey! Tee hee. She has a good diet.

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  6. Is it me or does anyone else think it looks like a roly-poly teddy bear with no legs?

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  7. Great post!!!!!! I'm sure it was a very moving experience for Honey.

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  8. LOL! somehow putting the handful of blueberries at the end after all that poop just made me think of fiber...

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  9. Perhaps a vacation is in order?

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  10. Very interesting post along with very interesting pictures of poop. Haha

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  11. I loved the post! Chicken poop is black (and white?) gold. I hope to see lots of it when we finally get to have chickens on the farm.
    Congratulations!
    Sorry to hear about your blueberries.

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  12. Hilarious!!!! And no I won't forgive you for posting a fabulously funny post and giving me a good, hearty laughing session. Now when I go to the chicken yard, I'll be examining poop piles more closely!

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  13. Brilliant. Its what chicken, duck, goat, horse or any animal person does. If you see poop, and it looks different in any way you inspect it. I do it all the time with my animals. I just wish my geese would stop pooping in the garage, then we would all be happy.
    Lovely art if I do say so myself.
    Nikcy. x

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  14. Too funny! I really love the first pic of the poop and George.

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  15. I think it is funny to see your poop blog post. I love it. I can actually say that I can't recall getting anything that looks quite like it.

    I love Honey the chicken. I have Honey the cat and they are close to the same color.

    Lisa

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  16. We animal lovers are ALL obsessed with poop, I'm afraid. Very impressive poop, indeed. I do like Poop with Closed Eye Cat. That's my favourite, I think. Very contemplative. Let me know when you & Honey start touring. btw, Honey has a very nice tush, too. *grin*

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  17. Only you could pull off a blog on the art of chicken poop so "tastefully".
    Do you know what they call the white portion of chicken poop?
    It's still called chicken poop of course.

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  18. I think it's quite lovely! Then again, I once did a Blog post about a dead rat that my puppy proudly brought me. Complete with a close up picture of the frozen rodent. I truly thought it was quite 'artistic'! Here's the link if you'd like to see it yourself:
    http://shepherdsvoice.blogspot.com/2010/01/sables-gift.html

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  19. Oddly, it looks like a chicken. In a strictly Van Gogh sense.

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  20. You are the only one I "know" who can talk of chicken poop and make me crack up!

    Now that we have our eight hens I do get to experience chicken poop on a daily basis too. But never have I seen such a work of art using chicken-poop-medium!

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  21. Hi Mrs. Bok - To answer your question, Honey is a Buff Orpington hen, quite famous for their "fluffy bottoms". :-)

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  22. I thought it kind of looked like Aunt Jemima of maple syrup fame. Or a chicken. Or a teddy bear.

    Love the photo of Honey, George and the artistic poop all in the same frame. Very artsy.

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  23. C'mon!! We ALL love poop stories! In fact, my husband, who is the chief poopscooper at our house of 13 Cats, often photographs their more "interesting" efforts. Hurrah for poop!

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  24. I think it looks like a chicken. I'm not affended by poop. In fact I want to write a poop identificaion book. My brothers are always asking me "what kind of poop is that?" They call me the sh#@t expert.

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  25. Danni are you talking sh*t again! :D ♥

    I think she pooped a silkie hen!

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  26. It may have been the raspberries that you fed her yesterday! :)

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  27. Ha! Poop art. Now Honey is an artist!! You have some very talented animals there Danni. You are right, it is impressive.

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  28. Looks like a poo version of a snowman or one of those Polish hens like Martha Stewart owns.

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  29. Who knew chicken poop could be so interesting!

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  30. I'm with Christine. You have to have a vacation soon. Been on the farm toooooo long!

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  31. I completely relate! Great post.

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  32. No you didn't, ha ha ha!!! That is actually a really large poop, you sure she isn't broody?? I've seen some huge broody poops in my day!

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  33. It's very artistic... I forgive you. To this day, one of the posts that gets the most hits on our blog is about toad poop.

    I think Honey's creation actually looks like a chicken. I'd call it a self-portrait? No offense intended, Honey. xoxo

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  34. This saved my day! I was nervous about first day in the office after a month long holiday but after seeing this post, I think I can handle anything and everything that comes in my way. Thank you thank you thank you! Absolutely hilarious!

    About Roxy, not sure, but maybe this could be the time to check out MSM? It might help the recovery process and it's not supposed to do anything evil either. Sports people use it after injuries. All things with Calendula should be good too. All the best to you and the critters!

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  35. chicken poop, and its kind of shaped like a puffed up chicken! How funny! I'm really behind but Mom was cracking up on the "poop" post so I had to dig down and find it so I could see it. Very cute and creative!

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